So I been running on empty. I am feeling somewhat better today.Love this weather makes my bluesy side come round again. I prefer it really. Sunny,happy is only me over caffeinated. I love deep,I live surface and walk between the raindrops of all of it.
A few things matter most and get me to engage that would be the children I made and this man that came into my world. My recovery is the basis of where I'm finding footing and staying grounded in it has proven quite difficult sometimes. The ego tries so hard to serenade me back into the void. Tells me that alone is always best for me.

Dear Stephanie,
Get clean
Heal
Become

diary entry from a year ago

2009-07-16 22:50:34

A scene between my ears


Obsession/Compulsion...
The terrible twins. All the logical thinking in the world
can't prepare you when these two show up.
The process of becoming and all that entails. I see myself
happy and well disciplined. I envision my future will have
submissive written all over it and for that I get chills.
So I'll stand up straight and look forward to it. As for the
twins they can hang out for awhile but then they gotta jet.
Their presence alert me of something bigger. Something
special and deep that needs my attention. I can release the
past knowing that turning the page in any good book is
something that you should jump on.
Searching and fearless I see this me now and I have to smirk.
Its all good baby its on.

all over again

in love with him.........